" JANAKA " : From the bottom of his daughter's heart :)

     Reprising a thank you note!

      Certain emotional connections are paramount for one's sustainability in life and its really one's destiny to perceive and rejoice these connections time to time. Some bonding will come to us by birth and some we seek from the outside world. A  "father - daughter" connection is one such feeling which most of us enjoy by birth itself. 

      When we look at the life of a new born! we can only think of it's helplessness, dependence and it will always tries to make sense of the world. Life revolves around it's primary caretakers. It can be mother or father or both. But as we grow, we see things getting unfold and there will be something flashy in the outside world which attracts and grabs our attention. May be that's what we call as exposure?! don't you think these exposures in a way provoke us to set some unrealistic expectations from relationships. 

     When I was a child I enjoyed all the attention and love that I received from everybody around me and even from a stranger who is walking on the road. Well, I don't like to blabber much, but who doesn't like a pretty smiling munchkin?! but I can't recall such sort of quotient with my father. May be out of some shyness he always kept a distance. Often he was the victim of my forced hugs and kisses but never extended one from his side. Sometimes there couldn't be a better way to express ones love than a warm hug because often it's not words, it's gestures that speak louder.

     Anyways people will have their own way of looking at the things. What they are and their personality is made up greatly depends on how their brought up was and how much freely they could express their feelings for someone. 

      As I said earlier it all starts when we start to look outside, in our friends circle, in our neighborhood  how's their bonding with their father? we tend to focus more on what we don't have or get to enjoy. it takes many years to enjoy what we have and be thankful for it. 

      I always wanted my father to be behind me, guide me and show a direct involvement in things I do. But I seldom suffered disappointments for not having him behind me when I looked back. 

He never attended PTM, he hardly knew in which section I was in and never use to bother much about my marks and interests. But I really wanted him to listen to the applaud from my teacher for me, I wanted him to sit with me and talk about my interests and his interests too! not bothering about the marks was hardly an issue. 

May be because of that we couldn't connect as well as how I'm with my mother. 

      No, don't think otherwise. I was not an object of aversion to my father. Whatever I'm today is because of his whole and sole efforts. Within his limits he gave me all the comforts for which I will be ever grateful. It's that he had his own way of thinking and doing, which din't match up with my expectations. 

      When I grew up mentally I actually started to acknowledge his personality. Though our perspectives are different. It's because of his carefree attitude towards me made me take extra care about myself, since he wasn't behind me, I made my backbone strong, since he dint show interest in knowing my hobbies I explored myself and exposed myself to all the good things to bring out the best in me, which really made me an all rounder. He hardly gave any suggestions and feedback as in how I can improve, for which I use to feel bad earlier. Now I appreciate him for doing that and taking things as it is because whole world is sitting out there to criticize and to give unwanted suggestions! at least he is quite :)

      Well I'm not denying the fact that I missed him around me when I wanted him n still I do. But sometimes you just need to accept the things the way they are and should count on yourself. We never know anything can work as a blessings in disguise! as in my case. Indirectly my father made me an independent and an emotionally strong human being. His liberal outlook and modern blend with traditional temperament has made me stick to my roots and grow as a free thinker. 

      I will take this moment to thank my father as I have inherited few of his amazing personas like; "it's okay to be selfish sometime", "being practical will work as a savior", "keep smiling always" because in any worst situation if you can smile then the other person may think you are crazy and leave or else they might melt for your infectious smile and never leave.

     These fathers are like that, allergic when it comes to show how much they love and care for their daughters. We daughters need to be extra smart to decode their love out of their routine boring  statements and criticism like; instead of wishing safe ride to office they say check for air and petrol in vehicle, they would rather say call your mother and talk so that even they will get to know your full details later on :) 

      From the bottom of my heart I would like to thank him for BELIEVING me. I make sure that "if not my hand, he always has my back" :) He is simply awesome :) He is my 'JANAKA" :)